February 1, 2008 was the last time I viewed pornography. This date, Lord willing, is etched in stone. It signifies the end of a two year battle with porn.
Two years! For some of you that might seem like a really long time, and for others, that might be a stroll in the park–'two years isn’t bad'. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that the polarized responses of 'shocking' and 'no sweat' can more or less be divided into two groups–the old and the young. Now I know that generalizations are just that, but here are some statistics for you. According to a recent study by the Barna Group, only one in 20 young adults and one in 10 teens say their friends think viewing pornography is a bad thing. On top of that, more young adults and teens view not recycling “usually or always worse” than watching porn (56 percent as opposed to 32 percent). No knock against recycling, in fact, if you’re getting rid of your Playboys you might as well recycle, but these two should not be viewed in the same category.
If you no longer find yourself as a teen or young adult, and if you have never struggled with pornography, this isn’t the time to shake your fist and huff at young people these days. I’m pretty sure grandpa would be in trouble too in today's world where instead of an occasional Marilyn Monroe pinup, they found themselves in the crosshairs of the 24/7 lion's den of the iPhone 6. We all have the same problem. The problem lies in the affections of the human heart, and it is at that heart that I want to aim. The heart, as Proverbs 4:23 tells us, “Is the wellspring of life.” So to aim at the heart, is to medicate the center of all sin problems–whether it’s artificial fornication online, or an overly competitive spirit at your weekly bridge game.
Why do people watch porn? That was way too easy to write: Why did I watch porn? If you track this answer long and hard enough, you’ll eventually find a hornet’s nest of answers. All of us go to sin in order to fulfill some longing in our heart that is meant to be found in God. As humans our “hearts run to impurity” (Romans 1:24) and now as Christians we are commanded to not “be conformed to the passions of [our] former ignorance” (1 Peter 1:14). The battle is over our hearts and its passions. Seeing this is crucial because in it we see that we cannot obey God in the most important and deepest way if porn is in our lives. In Matthew 22 Jesus is asked, “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” His answer is, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” If you are watching porn, you cannot follow God in the deepest way—“with all of your heart”. I don’t say this to shame you but to bring clarity. As Samuel Johnson said “When a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully.” The reality of porn’s consequences, like a hangman’s noose, should bring clarity of mind and sobriety. It’s a horrible thing if porn grips your heart because in that instant God doesn’t.
"It’s a horrible thing if porn grips your heart because in that instant God doesn’t."
I can hear the response, "But I’m not hurting anyone." Oh, but you are. In Matthew 22 Jesus gives the second greatest commandment that “is like” the first, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (v. 39). Let’s face it. You aren’t loving, nor can you love, someone when you are using and objectifying them. This doesn’t automatically connect with our culture because we use the same word, love, to say we love our mom, and we love hamburgers. The love of porn is the latter. We love using and objectifying. You can’t love like Jesus as long as you’re still viewing the woman or man on the screen, or across the room, as a double cheeseburger.
Porn is stealing our hearts from the “love that is better than life” (Psalm 63:3). My hope and prayer is that people in our church will have their own February 1. Or, better yet, we’ll raise kids that have no need for such a date.